Death of a mother

November 12th 2019

Another ordinary first day in a season of firsts

Sun flashes through the cracked sidewalk sky

Till the clouds consume it all

Shaking out a rain that soon turns to snow.

Greetings from winter, brooding just over the horizon. 

When last year’s freeze finally surrendered,

It’s eulogy written in muddy yards

Summer’s promise whispering in the wind, 

Cancer came and claimed you. 

The widow and the son gathered to grieve, 

Pretending that it was me who rejected them.

One more insult to my existence, 

Hurled at me as you crossed into the void. 

I think it’s been seventeen years since last we spoke,

Angry shouted goodbyes will have to be the sum of it. 

I find your reflection in my kid’s faces

A shadow unwilling to be seen.

The scab is torn off, opening the wound wide.

Annihilation is a false hope, 

A rumbling stomach in a quiet graveyard.

I clench my fists around my rage

Searing it shut again. 

I am smoke seeking substance 

Before the wind comes.